09
Jul
10

Inferiority.

Home is not like one anymore.I feel fucked up every time, not talking to Ibu.It really breaks my heart.

Argh.Maybe it’s true.Maybe it seems like I’m not doing anything at all.Maybe everyone thinks that I’m just having the post.But you know what ? I’m doing my very best and when the need arise for me to execute my plans, my laptop died on me.And so, again, everyone thinks I’m a potato lazing around.I’m having my bad time now.Everything is wrong and I could have given up already.

Every time YOU point things out, I die inside.But, my heart will whisper it is okay.There’s not a need to feel intimidated.All along, I thought you’ll guide me through, making me even stronger but instead, you make me feel inferior.I know you’re capable of so many things and that’s because you have the experience.And if I were to have the same experience as you, things would have been better on my side.You know, I’ve always wanted to ask you questions and clear my doubt but I can’t seem to approach you.You always, always give me a cold shoulder unlike how you treat her.All I’d asked for is friendliness.I really need it.Well, people always tell me I can’t expect someone to be what they’re not.

At the end of the day, I’m sure you’ll have this in mind – ” Some things are meant to be learned by yourself.”

Some minor things could spoil my day, really.I hope tomorrow will be a good day.I want Bigbear now.I want a warm hug.I want to cry already.

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