People & Feelings

Ya, I know of someone abroad. Well, maybe 2 or 3. I never thought I would like him. It sounds impossible but in fact, it is possible ironically. I think about this the whole day and I thought, how the hell am I supposed to address this “thing”. It’s so weird. I even thought of meeting him in person. Well, maybe in 2 to 3 years time ? Then I thought, it’ not that easy. But I like him. -__-
That aside, I was thinking, maybe I should study psychology. Reason being, I just love to see the way a person react to a situation. Maybe a situation as simple as boarding a bus. I was in the bus having a heap of thoughts and observing the people boarding my bus. The way they walk, they dress, their faces and all. Everything. I just love to observe. Well, maybe I should take up sociology or anything got to do with people,  just for the fun of it.  (:

That for now. Have a good day !

Abroad

It’s been long and now I’m back. Firstly, I’m doing fine BUT there’s this one gigantic elephant in the room that I couldn’t get rid off. I just can’t find any way to disregard it. I guess I simply can’t be bothered.

For now, I have a 2 special friends from abroad. Chris from Italy and Dean from UK. Well, they’re really nice people. Writing letters, having webcam sessions. It’s just great and I never thought this could be part of my life.  =)

I’m thankful for the life I’m given, Alhamdullilah. Maybe before this, I’ve failed in many ways but now, guess I’m picking up. Not for school though. Results turned out bad. Real bad that I hid it from my parents. =|  I’m dead meat. Ouh, friends are awesome and can’t ask for more.

Moving on to internship. Yes, internship. No doubt my allowance is one of the highest but the workload is hell, seriously. Well, there’s been some politics going on but I just can’t be bothered since I’m gonna be there for like only 6 dreadful months. Kinda contradicting though – ONLY 6 dreadful months. Heh. On a side note, they’ve treated me, the other 2 interns and the whole department of customer service for a buffet dinner at Carousel. The food was extremely awesome. Plus, we’re having D & D this coming November. Anyway, I’ve got a teeny-weeny crush from other department. =S It’s just a crush, nothing more.

That aside, everything else is fine. Ouh, Ayah’s birthday coming and I’m treating the whole family Sakura Buffet. Yeah, I’ve been eating tonnes but I can’t wait. It’ll be my virgin trip there.Got him a shirt for his birthday and maybe a new belt for him to replace the bloody old one. Hah.

That’s about it. Last one : I want to travel and meet friends from abroad.

Goodbye for now ~

Ache

Every time something happen to my injured knee, it is always not good.I’ve been an active lad since young.Just love seeking adventure.One of my dreams is of course, to climb mountains.But ever since the tragic knee injury overpowered me, I feel useless.I remember telling myself when I get into poly, I’ll get involved in sports that I’ve never tried before.Of course soccer ( where I got my injury from ) was on my list.I really enjoyed playing football, though there are a few setbacks in the team itself.At that point of time, I didn’t really think much except to enjoy the game, the feeling you get when the ball is in your possession, the adrenaline rush.Just when I was at the peak, it happened.I’d never experienced such injury even in Silat, one of my passion since young.My friends were telling me I should’ve stick to Silat in poly.Everything didn’t turn out that well.

And just then, it happened again.Thought of reliving the Sec ones moments of  rock-climbing but it turned out bad.The same knee but the other way.The pain of my knee, it isn’t that bad but the ache in my heart, not having the chance to do what I want to, it really hurts.I guess I really need to do something about it.Been mentioning surgery and therapy and all and yet, I’s still doing nothing.Inertia of Pure Laze.Now I’m devastated.Sometimes, pathetic and helpless.  =(

Life’s been good but it could have been better.Anyway, it’s such a waste I didn’t get to fast the first day of Ramadhan.I’m off.

So long.

Stagnant

Is it me ? How am I supposed to know ? Who am I to decide ? I don’t know.For what I know, you taught me something.Something that I bring with me every time I could.It needs effort to carry that something everywhere though.Whenever you’re there, it’ll happen.

I never thought something like this will occur in my tertiary life.I like you.I want to talk to you because you make me happy, like I mentioned the first time I talked about you.You won’t read this by any chance.Anyway, I’m sorry I always think of you whenever there’s Happiness.There.Yeah, it’s Happiness.

Uh, I like you.That’s all.And I want to talk to you.

Inferiority.

Home is not like one anymore.I feel fucked up every time, not talking to Ibu.It really breaks my heart.

Argh.Maybe it’s true.Maybe it seems like I’m not doing anything at all.Maybe everyone thinks that I’m just having the post.But you know what ? I’m doing my very best and when the need arise for me to execute my plans, my laptop died on me.And so, again, everyone thinks I’m a potato lazing around.I’m having my bad time now.Everything is wrong and I could have given up already.

Every time YOU point things out, I die inside.But, my heart will whisper it is okay.There’s not a need to feel intimidated.All along, I thought you’ll guide me through, making me even stronger but instead, you make me feel inferior.I know you’re capable of so many things and that’s because you have the experience.And if I were to have the same experience as you, things would have been better on my side.You know, I’ve always wanted to ask you questions and clear my doubt but I can’t seem to approach you.You always, always give me a cold shoulder unlike how you treat her.All I’d asked for is friendliness.I really need it.Well, people always tell me I can’t expect someone to be what they’re not.

At the end of the day, I’m sure you’ll have this in mind – ” Some things are meant to be learned by yourself.”

Some minor things could spoil my day, really.I hope tomorrow will be a good day.I want Bigbear now.I want a warm hug.I want to cry already.